I'll never see your face again...Part 2

The time passed slowly, flying above the ocean.

As soon as I landed back on earth

As soon as I found reception

The first text went out to you.

Herculean courage to type those 7 words

Re-read the text so many times

Before I finally sent, “back from the trip. How are you?”

Waited for a second and almost regretted having sent.

An instant reply, “m good, cn u talk?”

Had my heart racing like mad.

Maybe you wanted to fight some more.

I’ll hear you yell, sober this time.

Sheepishly escaped my parents’ eyes

Drifted away for some privacy.

A sea of unsettling tide of emotions

I decided to be formal with you.

Surprisingly, I heard a warm you, from the other side.

No more cocky, just genuine emotions after a long time.

The wonder struck me when we met in a few days

I had thought I’ll never see your face again

Felt like I found something I lost in the fight with time.

You weren’t different; you were what you used to be.

Back to the mystic chivalry, the winks, the naughty glance.

Making me dance as we walked hand in hand.

Still I had no clue what I was up for.

Till we decided to descend the stairs.

A stair ahead of you, as you followed.

You pulled me back and kissed my lips.

So unprepared it was so clumsy,

But I loved to get your taste again.

A kiss on my hand, and those fixed eyes.

Catching gazes more than ever, but you didn’t really care this time.

For all you had were eyes for me.

And I dutifully listened to you.

Soon  it was time to go.

I wish I could stay, but I had to go.

You weren’t ready to separate just as yet.

Extended your stay a little more.

In our last moments together, you said you’ll come back to me.

The days apart were just as harsh and more to you.

For a moment I forgot to breathe.

Not ready to believe what I had just heard.

Wet eyes, hadn’t seen you like this in so long.

Body and emotions acted at once.

Wish I could you hug there and then.

Back to my heaven, in your arms again.

I'll never see your face again... Part -1

In the dead of the night

I hushed as I spoke to you

I was scared if you’d be overheard

Hadn’t heard you shout so loud before.

                   

You said, “I’m done with you, never wana hear your voice again”

My heart skipped a beat with each word you spoke

You were like a different man

Not the one I had loved so long

I knew I’ll never see your face again

I didn’t cry a tear, just turned around in my bed

Quietly, I went back to sleep

When the morning comes this will be over

But the nightmare shouted in my ears all night

The next morning, I flew to another land, for some days now I’ll be gone.

I settled to be dissipated

I knew this was coming one day

The beginning of this journey was an end of that something big

I knew I’ll never see your face again.

That trip was no holiday, a pain in me I didn’t accept.

I was half way around the country away from you

There was no means to check on with you

To make me believe what I heard was true.

5 days without you…seemed like an eternity.

Easily irritated and restless, everyone seemed bothersome.

You’ll be better off without me, now things have changed

All good things come to an end.

I knew I’ll never see your face again.

You complete me....

 Life before you had less meaning

The guys to my status were demeaning

You came and turned it all around.

I heard myself in a new sound.

When we got together

There wasn’t anything I didn’t love about you

Your pictures, your words, your smile

Those poems, the gestures, your style.

You loved me like no one ever did.

My existence found a new meaning

But little did we know it’d rain so soon.

We tried our best to sail through

But failed so many times.

We weren’t letting go despite of the storm.

All we needed was some moments apart

To realise, to be back forever in our hearts.

The pain of separation, the fear of losing you.

Scared to move on, not ready to fight.

The world around isn’t good to trust

For all my faith lies within you

What we’ve had won’t happen again

Better cherish the love we have within.

If I could say sorry

If I could say sorry

For the million ways I make you mad

When we both end up being sad

Emotional turmoil and sleepless nights.

If it was easier to turn a blind eye,

I would tell myself this is how it’s supposed to be.

If I could be stronger than this,

Be the girl you always wished for.

I never thought I’d lose my mind

I’ve got this feeling that you are slipping away.

Soon, you’ll be gone forever.

See how things inched from how they were before.

If I could go back in time

The days we secretly wished to fight

Ways to make up were divine.

If it was less complicated

If I could say sorry

For the million ways I make you mad.

You call me up…trying to figure out why I am so messed

I speak endlessly, nothing but crap.

Feeling terribly nervous for what I did.

There is nothing I want to prove to you

Just be my friend, be with me forever like this.

I’ll make it alright…just don’t be mad.

Wish the day never happened

A sudden jet of love hormones  

As I see you sitting at the corner table in CCD

But when I see your face

It felt like a lightning struck me

Nevertheless I composed instantly

Didn’t let the mystical caffeine air, entice me.

This wasn’t a date, I came here to talk

Stop looking at how sexy he is

Stop being victim to the chivalrous charm.

We only shook hands…followed by one clumsy hug,

Obviously catching gazes like we do.

We sat apart, a fair distance, maintained.

This wasn’t a date, I came here to talk

Stop looking at how sexy he is

Stop being victim to the chivalrous charm.

Just too happy yet reluctant to show my awe

I started ruffling the pages of your notepad.

Hopelessly gauche, my fingers trembled.

I wasn’t alright till you held my hand.

Maybe you read all through,

What I was trying to hide.

You cracking jokes, being your usual self

Making small talks to make me laugh.

But something had me chained,

It was a make-or-break day.

The chemistry was same, the warmth unconditional.

But I was sceptical, what if something was unfortunate.

We walk away from there soon…

Even paneer didn’t feel good today.

I was seriously disarmed.

Paced the same Rajiv Chowk

The station we’ve walked so many times.

Headed to our favourite spot

Tao in CP has its own charm.

Almost fought over drinking or not.

Settled to having a sober meal.

Thus began the talking

I thoughtlessly poured my heart out

The needed austerity was right across.

The tables had turned…I was the grave one today.

Talking didn’t seem just enough

Headed to CCD again…everything made perfect sense

We’ve had our best times there.

I was in mood for what I don’t like

A brownie and a chocolate pastry

A coffee we had never ordered.

Mere chocolate wasn’t killing me today.

Thus the beginning of things that never happened.

When it started to sink in…

It made me numb, I tried to be indifferent.

I chose not to rub it in now.

Tried my best to distract myself all along.

Soon it was time to go.

Trust me I wanted to run away.

Run away from this reality.

Not a thing, we won’t be one anymore.

The guy I was once in love with.

Its 4 in the morning, but I just can’t sleep,

Tossing and turning in my sheets.

Never been so hard….its impossible for me…

Everything is spinning like a tornado in front of me.

And all the blood is reaching my head,

I wish I knew what I could do.

Things changed so much in a week.

You have a lot of things to say,

And I listen to them intently.

But my mind’s battling with me,

Not ready to adhere to what it sees.

A hopeless sanguine, my heart still in love with you

Mind’s over the matter…pretending not to be.

You are just not ready

Giving endless arguments why it shouldn’t be.

I wish I could make you see,

What I am and what you were to me.

I wish I could sleep comforted in your arms.

Not a care in the world…I wish had those nights again

With the guy I was once in love with.

Shivering Sentiments

Sitting on the shore,

I am lying back on the sand…

As I try to find answers

To a million questions in my head.

The night is starry

The moon gives me company.

Will I ever accomplish it?

Will I ever live my reverie?

But only my shivering sentiments come to rescue me.

I want to scream so I can fight my fears

The waves hitting the shore… bury all sounds in my throat.

I close my eyes, a darkness beyond the starry night

A tear trickles down my eye.

I can’t see the direction of my destination anymore

In the obscurity of this dream

I see a window….a ray of hope

I feared to look outside, too scared to discover something worse.

As I drew closer to this window

I hear different voices coming from within
Voices of my longings.

With that came a vision of what I had achieved.

What I’ve always been.

I stood there at that window shivering with fear.

Suddenly the darkness disappeared and I open my eyes.

I see the sun coming up at the horizon,

Eyes still wet from what I had seen,

Suddenly I felt goose bumps.

The orange shimmer from the rising sun,

The waves were now hushed…

Talking quietly among themselves,

Like they knew what I had seen

The sand on the beach looked beautiful.

Seeing the scenic beauty,

I closed my eyes in relief.

Nothing is unattainable; I wish I had seen this before.

The window of learning, finding my real self.

After the darkest night comes a dawn

My dawn’s breaking here now.

Life will turn a new leaf.

I walk back home,

Head held up high…

I look at the sun in the eye

I walk now, With a smile on my face.

All my fears, the tears are gone...

And all my shivering sentiments are trounced upon.

Complicated

I want a simple existence
I want to live my reverie
I want to breathe my worries out
I want to breathe some happiness in

I want to return home a winner
But it is just a little complicated

When I was young they taught me 2-2’s are 4
When I grew I was told to differ
New rules were brought into the game
It is all so uptight…like a combat to fit in

I want to return home a winner
But it is just a little complicated

I cry… I bleed those tears
No one’s there, no one can see
No one comes to comfort me
These tears drip sore as you leave

I want to return home a winner
But it is just a little complicated

In Devil's Eyes

In devil’s eyes its black and white,

There is no colour, no rainbow of hope.
There is avarice,drug,sex and malice,
No angelic world of hopes and dreams.

He lives to kill,he kills to survive,
Weaves an unending web of crime.
There is no sorrow, no remorse,
For suffering and pain is inflicted on.

There is no sober touch or stroking your head,
He finds you and you know you’re dead.

It looks like death when you see in those eyes.
Blood-red and a sea of hatred filled inside.
Revenge and hurt is what is seen.
There is no reason to why and how its been.
The story goes back in time….

When three children of God came much before we did
They loved and cared for who made them
And they were faithful.
But the one who loved his god the most
Was always ignored and left to cry
Still he never complained
His faith in god never died

Till one day when god made man
His most beautiful creation of all times
He asked them to bow their heads to man.

And, thus refused the third
It was then when he turned a traitor.
Then he went against.

From a mouthful of love to hurtful tragedy.
Love turned to the worst emotion,
Passionate as love,only hate was much worse.

Evil is what devil does
And Satan came to rise,
Ever since mankind has paid the price.

In devil’s eyes its black and white,
There is no colour, no rainbow of hope.
There is avarice,drug,sex and malice,
No angelic world of hopes and dreams.

Summer Love

Its dusk and we meet again

Walk hand in hand again
Bodies close to each other
The touches are creating waves
Intoxicated by your presence
I let myself fly.

It has been a while
But we just don’t talk
Just walk in silence
These miles together
The warmth of your presence fills me up
I wait for the evening to come
I wait to see you everyday
I wait for the stroll we take together
But soon this is going to end
And I can’t say the words

I’ll be gone soon enough
And I won’t see you this way again
Loved you my summer love
But I can’t say the words
The day you first held me close
I struggled to free myself
Its wrong I said to the both of us

But you pulled me close
With the sparkle in those eyes
You smirked, planted a kiss on my neck,
With the passion in your voice said, ‘No, its not!’
You make me forget the wrongs and rights
You make me a spoilt chick
I held my silence thus, I didn’t resist.

It is wrong though, to you, to us.
But you don’t care.
The moment is too precious to waste.
I lose myself and you wrap me close to you.
Loved you my summer love
But I have to go now.
And I can’t say the words.

I want to fall in love again

If you could see inside my heart
You’d see all the love I have
If you could see inside my head
You’d see all the thoughts I have

I don’t know what is wrong with us
But I don’t intend on giving up
I am the same girl you once loved
The one you gave your heart for

If there are words that can heal us
I am ready to say them all
If there is anything that makes it better
I am ready to do it all

I want you back in my life
The way we were before
Maybe I’ve hurt you all along
Now I am too bruised by what you say

Maybe it is real maybe its not
I’m ready to play the gamble again
Just hold my hand once again
I know you won’t let me fall

I want you to believe in us
I want to be your girl
I want to be in those arms again
I want to fall in love again.

Fantasy

It is still dark and I sit outside
I sit by the river that flows by
I’m not alone, the stars give me company
The silence and cold hold on to me tight
The breeze sends shivers down my spine

The mountains are capped with snow all around
The pines are tall as I can see
The fog is settled thick abound
The only sound comes from the waterfall nearby

Suddenly I hear some faint steps
I look around but there’s no one I can see

You come from nowhere and hug me from behind
“I almost had a heart-attack you know”
And there stand you perfectly calm and cool
Still barely awake in your muscle tee and shorts

You stand there with your mischief smile
The happiness from last night shows in those intense eyes

I turn around and hug you tight
My heart is still pacing like Schumacher’s drive

You kiss my lips and I forget my fears
This night missed what is complete now.

We sit together as one, you and me wrapped in a blanket
We look at the bonfire as the flames dispense heavenly warmth
And I fall asleep again in your arms.

So..the rain came again

It has been 4 months 16 days in precision
Life had been a living hell to us
As I waited for today too long
So the rain came again

For its hard to believe what I hear is true
I think I’m living a dream
Only dreams could make me happy like this
I carefully let your thoughts thaw into me

The anxiety melted with each word you spoke
I almost forgot the exam I had
I shook my head in disbelief
I hadn’t really lost the war

You still love me like you always did
But you hid and kept it from me
Now u know it too, it does no good
Let us stay where we belong

I did my best, only now you tell me
It was always good enough
It is impossible to close our eyes too long
From what we have may not happen again

I needed this to live and be myself again
So the rain came again

It was just this time of the year
I think I’m falling in love again
As you whispered those three magical words
So the rain came again.



PS:Hey friends...first and formost.. I must apologise for givning u on everything and almost quitting to write.somethin unusually great happened...and now we decide to live life on our terms.So,here I am with the rain again..guys and gals...I am back in action again!all...for now...stay glued..there's so...much more coming up!Peace Out! <3

Because what I love isn't you

I looked away
Then I looked back at you
U tried to say
Things that I didn’t wana know

You try too hard to find a way
To come near me
My eyes tell you to go away
U can’t handle what I have to say

U promise me a better time
U promise me a life
I think I am incapable of
Can’t hold my bruised heart anymore

There is too much pain
I have no love to give you

Each time I take a step
Its like I’ll fall into pieces
I dread we can’t make it through.

I don’t want to talk about it
All I wana sit and stare at the full moon
Cry in front of it endlessly

Cos what I love isn’t you.

Justice

I am done with doing justice
Its time I have mine

I m so fake around you
Just to entertain you, I lose my face
You knew me then
You don’t wana know me anymore

Hiding my tears behind your sorrows
I’m done with putting a facade
Pushing you and leaving myself behind

An year passed by and I’ve done all to please
But nothing is ever good enough

To err is human but my mistakes are unforgiven
Your dreams, your drama I carried it all

But will you ever care to know mine
I maybe losing all I have
But give me some reason to stay behind

Ignorant to my needs, you have ample excuses
I am a crutch making you crippled
You are better off anyway

You may not but I have much to lose
In this game I’ll never win

For what I want is what you can never give

It has been a year or so
You’ve moved on and left me cold
I wish I could tell you so
I still got a thing for you

Baby I understand its all so hard on you
But I get so hurt sometimes stuck in the middle of you
I don’t know what to do

No one will ever love you like me
Maybe I messed it up with you
But its time to close that open door.

A voice surges through me
I will say what I have to before its too late
What has been said and done
Is just about to change

All the tears and hurt caused
Will go down the drain
What has been said and done
Is just about to change

You will see a different me
Don’t fail to recognise, look within me.
What has been said and done
Is just about to change

Expectations cause complications
Apologies have lost meaning
Being good is never good enough
Good always has a superlative degree

I’ll change the definition for you
Hereafter I live it my way, my own terms
What has been said and done
Is just about to change.

Underestimation is an understatement
You did much worse to me
What has been said and done
Is just about to change.

Stridden out me when I was wounded
I won’t be naïve no more.
Because it never did no good to me.
What has been said and done
Is just about to change.

I'll make it last forever

Its not like it’s the last day
I wana make this day
I’ll make it last forever baby.

When day breaks and I see the sun
All the wrong goes away
I’ll make you smile
I’ll make you shine forever baby.

I see your face and you make me smile
You brighten up my day
I’ll hug you tight
I’ll make it right

Its not like it’s the last day
I wana make this day
I’ll make it last forever baby.

Believe in me, believe in you
We’re gona pull it through
I kiss your lips
Taste like the choco chips

Its not like it’s the last day

All the pain,the tears we cried together
Still you never said goodbye
I know you’ll go far for me
And I will never let you down.

I’ll be what you’ll always want.

Its not like it’s the last day
I wana make this day
I’ll make it last forever baby.

The day that was!

The wait, made me desperate.
The heat got better of me.
The quest blended with the thirst to see.
The man of my dreams is worth the wait.

Morning sickness and the stomach ache
An hour ride battling the programming logistics.
A rickety promise and circumstantial surrender
The wait, made me desperate.

So I finally reach my destination
All geared up and set to see.
Coming to realise the wait’s extended.
The tension and restlessness engulfs me.

I make way to the rest room
Pass half my time there;
Putting on dresses, trying to look the best me.
The man of my dreams is worth the wait.

Looking at the others I miss you from me.
From knowing you are just as anxious
It roots me momentarily
But the heaving emotions don’t stop.

Time somehow is thrusted by
And its finally is time to see you.
The man of my dreams is worth the wait.

I see you from a distance
All sweaty from the heat
Yet the smile comes at once
The pain is gone, no exasperation anymore.

The ultimate emotion crawls into me
The feeling sinks right into my knees.
I almost run to hug and get hold of you at once.
You are a little surprised to see the overwhelmed response.

In the midst of heavy traffic,
There is a silence that captures me
I am still too relieved to speak.
The touch intensifies the pleasure I want to hold on.

I gladly took a sweet escape,
I slid behind that chair
What happened is neither fault nor chance
My bosom stroked what feels the best


The fissionable substances thus meet
The chemistry begins its magic
The resistance begins to fail
The capacitance utilises what waited so long.


The touch causes the enchanting spell
A stir among us and we catch gazes aloud.
We do what we do best
Make them jealous and feel satisfied.

It is impossible to demand and punish myself
As I know you are the one I can’t resist
My mind battles my body
The heart speaks another language altogether.

The mind won the combat
The resistance told me to differ
Asking me to close eyes to what the body speaks
Helplessly drawn to your gentle touches

My actions sail as my heart takes over.

Its bliss the way you kiss my forehead
The tender touches and excuses to tickle me.
The seduction in your voice
The word of admiration spoken into my ears

The ripple that travels from the ears
Causes butterflies right inside my stomach
Its an year from when these happened first
The electricity in you still paralyses my thoughts.

We have tonnes to talk and laugh about
Everything interests me with you around
All the troubles set freely away
Your arms are the best heaven abode.

Its difficult to want to detach this mystic union
But its time to part ways
A final hug followed by subsequent ones
A goodbye and a flying kiss you didn’t see.

With a heavy heart and much slower steps I drag my feet
And see the last of you.
Going so I can come back to see.
Truly so, the man of my dreams is worth the wait.

LIVED IT..ALL!

I see it happening to me now…

I’ve been told and taught so.
I am just an animal tamed in your hands
A piece of sand moulded to your needs.

When u told me it is forever….Was it just a lie?
What’s the point in fighting a lost war…?
I’ve already bled and cried too much for you.

Will he ever me love me like u do..?
Will he really fight for me?
Die for me…lie for me…like u do?
How can he compete?
You don’t want to leave and I don’t go…

I wish I could take it back to where it started.
You got a choice to make it stop.
It has been taken way too far now.

I have lost the strength to fight you anymore.

I Have Got a Lifetime of Love from You!

It all comes back to where it started from.
The whole gush of true emotions and tears.
The joy and sweet pain, love comes a full circle.
Its back to where it started from.

It is not just about a name.
I feel like I am falling in love again.
Just this time its fair play, no one will lose, or go astray.
The rules won’t be bent, no one will be hurt.

There will be solace and comfort to us.
I am yours and you are mine, and it is sealed forever.
We have it defined and we call us “closest friends.”
Its back to where it started from.

The title might sound a little cliché to some.
But as long as I am here with us.
I couldn’t be less concerned.
Its back to where it started from.

The tension released and I finally breathe.
I smell fresh air, intoxicated in the scent of you.
The touch wasn’t more comforting ever.
Its back to where it started from.

That standing close, without touching you to me.
Was just as hard as ever, except for a sudden surrender in me.
I want to give myself to you.
Its back to where it started from.

For all it takes, I wish I could tell
What it meant, seeking for your love;
And, how I craved for it.

How you just let me know, how much you love me.
There is more to it.
I’ve lived myself forever with you.
For all I wanted was me to know.
The man of my dreams is my dream come true.

I want to love, laugh, dance, eat and cry with you.
I want to wake up those nights I did.
With you beside me.

I rest my head on your shoulder.
As you keep talking to me
A tear rolled down my eye.
I burst into tears and worry you.

Your love makes my world go around.
I wish I could tell you the difference your love makes.
I’ll always be by your side.
I’ve got a life time of love from you.

You're all i need!

When I think all is said and done.
When I know it is true.

I don’t have you with me.
But I still see you in me.

It is slipping away from me,
And I keep falling back again.

There is a chord that connects,
I wish that never breaks

I’m fed up of people,
It is always more than I know.

It’s the shoulder I need,
Your touch to be alright.

I don’t want to cry these swollen eyes.
Just want to close them a full breath.

The rest I haven’t had in long,
That is just whats needed now.

Yes it is platonic, if that answers your question.
I only wish you stop running away.

From all you love and that you’re all I need!

I wish I could make you believe,
Ever be good enough to be good for you.

Give us a chance, give love its worth!
For beautiful it is, and that you have seen.

Just let it stop for once at least
I’m tired of running.

Only you can heal our bruised souls!

I wish I had a way

I wish I had a way
I wish I had a say
When things are not what they are supposed to be
And when you catch me unawares

I wish I was just half good enough as I used to be
I wish I could do any good
Now things are going out of hand
And I am left without options

I wish I could take it all back
Be the angel to my soul
The strength suddenly faded out
The light is nowhere in sight

I wish I had a way
I wish I had a say

Its falling apart in front of me
Nothing is what I can repair
Never felt so powerless
Can’t heal no one any more

I am not sane
I’ve lost my dignity
Can’t see myself in the eye
For how longer I wouldn’t know.

SWEET PAIN

long are the nights...
the cold gets me sombre..
that’s when I know u r nt arnd
and I am all by myself..

the emotions tide high
this supermoon night is at its best
I wonder how life could be
With you here…

I obviously live in a world of hopes and dreams
Something you might beg to differ with

But I can only tell you
A part of me and you;
I want to build away
from what life wants us to be

I want to be your fantasy…
I want to feel the sweet pain…

These long nights…
When the emotions tide high…
Temptations swell up and pull me away…
Re-surface to the edge…

And does it get any better…
This supermoon night at its best

Close your eyes..like I do…
Feel the things that haven’t been done
Secretly desire the forbidden fruit…

This may not be what you do…
But I can only tell you
A part of me and you;
I want to build away
from what life wants us to be

let the world say we are poles apart
but to me there’s more to us…
there is a name undefined
that holds on to and binds

there is destiny…there is reality…
but for once..let us forget…

u give me peace..u make me sane
I want to feel the sweet pain..

I don’t want to know what the cards hold
Cos that’s all said and done

Tell me what you see..
Is it not worth a shot?
Life is better with colors..
Don’t paint it black and white

There is more than Boolean algebra
Cos I seek to discover full-fledged anatomies

Hold my hand,feel my breath
As I traverse the paths to unfold forbidden
Forget the wrongs and rights
Give each other the happiness we deserve

The cold is getting on my nerves…
And all I get is goosebumps…
Is it soo..cold or I miss the warmth that we share

The fantasy burns the soul through me
Suddenly the brain becomes dysfunctional
And the heart takes over…

I am bogged by more than enough
I am lost and I want to come to you…

Its still too cold for me…to face the winds
So I resort to the relief of you and me
I reveal my desire as I tell you this

I Sit by the fireplace
With a coffee mug,the blanket and you..
and all my worries burn infront of me..
as I see the flame turn from orange to yellow to blue

I still am longing for the sweet pain
I want you to look for the colors I see
Don’t paint it black and white…

DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!

i don't mean to hurt you..but i do....

there is no life without you...

but i do things to lose you...

wen i make u sad ,it hurts you

of all the people..am i supposed to this to you..?

u forgive me cos u love me...

but i don't understand...

i make mistakes again..

shatter ur faith in me...

its becoming hard for me to make u believe

i love you..

i don't mean to hurt you but i do...

i promise you and commit the same mistakes again

add to ur miseries..

this isn't what you deserve...

but if i only could tell you...

of all that i need..

u top the list...everything else will come and go

i don't want to lose you...

and if it were for me...

i would hold on to you forever...

of all my words...i swear to u...

this is time i won't change for bad..

u'll see a different me...

cos at the end of the day..

there is one thing i know...

there is no life without you...

and i can't live to see u sad...